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BeitragVerfasst: Mi Jun 24, 2009 5:01 pm 
Hello and welcome to my presentation about my favourite pop star.

Christopher Maurice Brown, better know as Chris Brown was born on May 5th 1989 in New Jersey (it’s in Virginia) by Clinton Brown and Joyce Hawkins.
Chris is one of two children. He has a sister. Her name is Tootie and she’s 26 years old.
Chris grew up in Virginia. His first dream was to became a rapper. But with 13 years he start singing. With 16 years he left school and began his carrer in musik.

In 2005 Chris began working on his self-titled album “Chris Brown”, which was released on November 2005. “Run it” was his first single. His first album “Chris Brown” hast sold 1,420,000 units in the United States and over three million world wide. Chris Brown’s second album “Exclusive” released 2007.

Chris has tried a lot of things.. from singing to dancing and even acting.
2006 he got a small role in O.California (it’s a soap).
Chris played in cinema films like “Stomp the Yard” and “This Christmas”.
“Stomp the Yard” is a dance film and “This Christmas” is a drama and comedy film.

On the 9th February, day of the Grammy Awards, was Chris and his girlfriend Rihanna invated, but they were not there, because chris was arrested. He hit his girlfriend, because he thought she had an affaire. The court said that Chris is not allowed to have contact with Rihanna. But the problems with Rihanna do not harm chris. He works hard on his new album "Grafiti" that at the end from 2009 to buy is.

In his Freetime Chris plays Basketball. But he has little Freetime. A Star to be is not easy, because they have a lot of work. But Chris loves to make musik .

This was my presentation about Chris Brown, which is one of the best R&B singers in the united states. I chose Chris Brown as my favourite pop star, because his voice is amazing and i love his songs. Chris Brown is not only a good singer, he is a good songwriter, dancer and even actor, too.


..bin nich gut in englisch^^
ich hoffe ihr helft mir und verbessert einige Sätze die grammatisch falsch sind


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BeitragVerfasst: Mi Jun 24, 2009 6:06 pm 
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Registriert: Fr Mai 17, 2002 2:40 pm
Beiträge: 2749
Wohnort: BW
Zitat:
Christopher Maurice Brown, better know as Chris Brown was born on May 5th 1989 in New Jersey (it’s in Virginia) by Clinton Brown and Joyce Hawkins

# "familiarly known" oder "more familiarly known". "better" zielt meistens auf eine Qualität ab.
# Komma hinter "Brown"
# "that's in Virginia", oder einfach hinter den Ortsnamen, das Kürzel des Staates
# Die Eltern kannst du nicht mit "by" anbinden. Am besten einen zweiten Satz oder Teilsatz draus machen.

Zitat:
Chris is one of two children. He has a sister. Her name is Tootie and she’s 26 years old.

# Zu einem Satz zusammenfassen!
# "His parents had two children - Chris and his sister Tootie...."

Zitat:
Chris grew up in Virginia. His first dream was to became a rapper

# Wieder zusammenfassen!
# "...in Virginia and soon he dreamed of becoming..."

Zitat:
But with 13 years he start singing. With 16 years he left school and began his carrer in musik.

# Wieder zusammenfassung!
# Beginne nur dann einen Satz mit "but" wenn du einen Gegensatz beschreibst!
# Bei Altersangabe im Sinne von "im Alter von", immer "at the age of" benutzen und "years" weglassen.
# "music" nicht "musik"
# "music" kann nicht allein stehen, ergänze es am besten mit "business"

Zitat:
In 2005 Chris began working on his self-titled album “Chris Brown”, which was released on November 2005

# Das musst du anders ausdrücken, das kann man nicht 1:1 übersetzen. Vielleicht so: "...his album 'Chris Brown', named after himself..."
# "in November 2005", "on" nur bei exakten Daten, z.B. "on the 25th of November"

Zitat:
His first album “Chris Brown” hast sold 1,420,000 units in the United States and over three million world wide

# "had" nicht "hast"
# statt "units" besser "times", also im Sinne von 1,4 mio. mal. Ebenso nochmal "times" nach "million".
# Schreibweise von "world wide" stimmt nicht - entweder zusammen oder mit Bindestrich.

Zitat:
Chris Brown’s second album “Exclusive” released 2007

# "was released in"

Zitat:
Chris has tried a lot of things.. from singing to dancing and even acting

# Wenn du diese Konstruktion mit "from...to..." beginnst, musst du auch jedes weitere Glied so anschließen, also auch "to acting".

Zitat:
2006 he got a small role in O.California (it’s a soap).

# Möglichst keine Klammern setzen!

Zitat:
Chris played in cinema films like “Stomp the Yard” and “This Christmas”

# Statt "cinema films" lieber "movies". Die Unterscheidung zwischen verschieden Typen von Filmen, z.B. Kinofilm vs. Fernsehfilm, ist im Englischen nicht sehr üblich.

Zitat:
“Stomp the Yard” is a dance film and “This Christmas” is a drama and comedy film

# Auch hier würde ich die Filmtypen etwas anders bezeichnen. "dance film" hört sich etwas seltsam an. Vielleicht besser: "a film about dancing". Wie kann denn ein Film Drama und Komödie gleichzeitig sein?

Zitat:
On the 9th February, day of the Grammy Awards, was Chris and his girlfriend Rihanna invated, but they were not there, because chris was arrested

# "9th of February"
# "the day...", es ist ja ein bestimmter Tag
# Die Zeiten im Rest des Satzes stimmen nicht: "Chris...were invited, but they did not show up, because had been arrested earlier"

Zitat:
He hit his girlfriend, because he thought she had an affaire

# "affair" ohne e

Zitat:
But the problems with Rihanna do not harm chris

# "did not harm..."

Zitat:
He works hard on his new album "Grafiti" that at the end from 2009 to buy is

# "...that will be available at the end of 2009"

Zitat:
In his Freetime Chris plays Basketball. But he has little Freetime

# "Freetime" gibt es nicht, zweitens würde man es, wenn es existieren würde, auch nicht groß schreiben. Entweder "free time" oder "spare time", wobei ich zu Zweiterem tendiere.
# "Basketball" klein schreiben.
# Beide Sätze verbinden!

Zitat:
A Star to be is not easy, because they have a lot of work. But Chris loves to make musik

# Satzstellung beachten: "It is not easy to be..."
# Beide Sätze verbinden!
# Siehe Anmerkung oben zu "Musik"

Zitat:
This was my presentation about Chris Brown, which is one of the best R&B singers in the united states

# Besser "presentation of"
# "which" nur bei Objekten, niemals bei Menschen!
# "united states" ist ein Eigenname, daher groß schreiben.

Zitat:
I chose Chris Brown as my favourite pop star, because his voice is amazing and i love his songs

# "I've chosen..."
# "i" wird auch groß geschrieben.

_________________
That was yesterday
But today life goes on
No more hiding in yesterday
Cause yesterday's gone


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BeitragVerfasst: Mi Jun 24, 2009 8:59 pm 
dankeschön :D


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