hey!!! wir sollen zu diesem statement "These days it’s bad to be underdeveloped in anything at all" ein kommentar schreiben. wäre wirklich seeeehr nett, wenn mir jemand meinen text verbessern könnte und vielleicht auch kurz dazu schreiben könnte, wie er den inhalt findet danke



The statement „ These days it’s bad to be underdeveloped in anything at all” is about underdevelopment problems, which have people, society, environment, medicine and so on. This topic says that you will have a hard time, if you are underdeveloped.
In my opinion this statement is right.
For example people, who live like before 100 years, they will exclude by society. For example they have not a car, a computer or other electrical appliance. But I think you need this things in our current world. Cars are important for moving and electrical appliance are very important to get informations what happenes in the world. So if you do not have these things, you will exclude by the whole world.
An other argument is the medicine and contraceptive. In my opinion,for example, it is bad to do not take condoms only because of the religion, who are sometimes opposed to nex things. In our world we have a lot of veneral disease and to it is careless to do not take condoms. I think that is a very bad underdevelopment.
Altogether, on the one hand, I think we have to developed our life and and so we have to adept to society. For example we need cars and other electrical appliance. And we have also handle responsible with verneral disease.
But,on the other hand, in my opinion we should do what we want and we should not adapt to all. If people are happy with theirs lifes, so you should let live them who they want.

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Hi kkris,

inhaltlich finde ich deinen Text sehr gut.

Du hast mitunter gute Formulieren benutzt, aber nicht alles ist "korrekt":

Du hast ziemlich oft "for example" verwendet - lass es entweder weg (würde ich dir raten) oder formulier es um.

The statement „ These days it’s bad to be underdeveloped in anything at all” is about underdevelopment problems, which have people, society, environment, medicine and so on. <-- einen Satz mit dergleichen Vokabel zu erklären um die es geht, ist nicht sehr geschickt (underdelopment). Versuch lieber "underdeveloped" mit "der Zeit nicht mehr angemessen" oder "den aktuellen Anforderungen nicht mehr gerecht werdend" zu erklären.

In my opinion this statement is right. --> "is true" hört sich IMO besser an, aber okay.

they have not a car, --> they don't have a car, a computer...

Cars are important for moving --> statt moving lieber mobility

informationS gibt es nicht. es gibt nur information. wenn du davon plural bilden willst, musst du beispielsweise "some information" oder "pieces of information" sagen.

it is bad to do not take condoms --> it's bad not to take condoms -- aber auch das is nich so prickelnd. Vllt. eher so: "people who do not use condoms behave carelessly"?

you should let live them who they want. <-- wieso "who"? eher "how". aber nicht nur "want" sondern "want to do". davor hattest du auch schon mal "want" ohne ein folgendes verb... das musst du ebenfalls ändern. vermeide aber wenn möglich wortwiederholungen.

und da waren noch ein, zwei tippfehler dabei, z.b. "their lifes" oder "next things" oder "we have to develop".

danke hat mir sehr weitergeholfen.
kann man den satz jetzt so lassen:

The statement „ These days it’s bad to be underdeveloped in anything at all” is about current demands , which have people, society, environment, medicine and so on, which they do not meet.

ähm ne. erstmal würdest du so zum zweiten mal which in einem satz benutzen.... und zum zweiten macht das keinen sinn?! ich würde den einleitungssatz wahrscheinlich so wählen:

"The statement 'These days it's bad to be underdeveloped in anything at all' describes one of the big problems that we have nowadays.

ups okay...danke

<b>In my opinion -> From my point of view
I hold the opinion
for example-> for instance

Moreover,Furthermore,In addition to this, Besides </b> sind gute Links